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Pregnancy Scandal At Charter School Proves That Evangelical Right Is A Complete Joke

Submitted by Henry Armitage

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Evangelicals claim to stand for family values and, at a minimum, not killing the unborn, but ultimately they believe that girls who get pregnant out of wedlock should face no negative consequences but be showered with love and understanding—not to mention gratitude for “choosing life.”

One partial exception to this, apparently, is a THOT-bashing charter school in Maryland called Heritage Academy. From the New York Times:

[Maddi Runkles] has a 4.0 average at Heritage Academy, the small private Christian school she attends; played on the soccer team; and served as president of the student council. But when her fellow seniors don blue caps and gowns at graduation early next month, Ms. Runkles, 18, will not be among them. The reason? She is pregnant…

Anti-abortion group Students For Life, which took her to a recent rally in Washington, argues that she should be lauded, not punished, for her decision to keep her baby

“She made the courageous decision to choose life, and she definitely should not be shamed,” said Kristan Hawkins, the Students for Life president, who tried unsuccessfully to persuade the administrator of Heritage Academy to reverse the decision. “There has got to be a way to treat a young woman who becomes pregnant in a graceful and loving way.”

So, even though this school tries to take a principled stand on these issues, evangelical THOTS For Life begin to interfere. This same Students For THOT Life organization is actually raising money to buy Maddy a scholarship, baby gifts and more. Oh, and her father was actually on the board of the school.

Oh, and Maddi’s father was actually on the board of the school. Irony of ironies. A god-fearing father evangelical father who is literally on the board of a religious school aiming to curb pre-marital promiscuity ends up being unable to control his daughter.

Mr. Runkles, a bank vice president, recused himself from decisions involving his daughter, but ultimately he quit the board in anger over how she was treated. […] ”It’s ruined her senior year.”

Ruined her senior year! Can you even believe the callous cruelty? As if Our Lord himself didn’t verily minister even unto the THOTs and publicans!I mean, it’s all very well to teach kids not to have extra-marital sex, but then when they go ahead and do it you can’t actually punish them- so sayeth the Evangelicals.  You just have to nag and hope that works; anything more would be inhumane. You have to enable these girls to make an exhibition of themselves to liberal publications like the NYT, so everyone can make a fuss over them and tell them how brave they are and give them presents. That will definitely prevent future bad behavior:

Ms. Runkles, who considers herself “a practicing born-again Christian,” expects to raise her baby, a boy, with the help of her parents…She calls the child “a blessing,” but declined to discuss the baby’s father, except to say that they do not plan to marry, and that he does not attend Heritage Academy.
Initially, she tried to keep the pregnancy a secret. She also thought fleetingly, she said, of abortion. But after a few days, she confided in her mother, Sharon, who works in a mental health clinic, and eventually her father, who called an emergency meeting, he said, to inform Mr. Hobbs and the board members.

You know, Maddi, there was a time not so long ago when your only hope of a decent life from here would have been to get mystery man to marry you. There was a reason or two for that… Maddi seems very contrite. She even said she felt that she was being treated more harshly than students who have been suspended for, say, underage drinking and lying about it.

Overall though, Maddi seems very contrite. She even said she felt that she was being treated more harshly than students who have been suspended for, say, underage drinking and lying about it.

Because that’s a fair comparison to make.

The hilarious article goes on:

“Some pro-life people are against the killing of unborn babies, but they won’t speak out in support of the girl who chooses to keep her baby,” she said. “Honestly, that makes me feel like maybe the abortion would have been better. Then they would have just forgiven me, rather than deal with this visible consequence.”

Maybe some people think you shouldn’t have an abortion OR go ahead fecklessly as if nothing has happened? Maybe you should get hitched to the father of your child so you can bring it up together the way God and nature intended? And part of me wonders if those evangelical baby-worshippers would still give you a scholarship if you went ahead and aborted your baby, then publically “repented.” Probably.

Knowing them, as soon as she turned on the waterworks, they would cave. After all, according to the Evangelical Church of the Redeemed THOT, Jesus loves you, your THOT daughters and your lucky-dip grandkids! Amen.

Vincent Law
the authorVincent Law
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